ANGE AND HER SENSEI CONFRONT THE BREAKFAST BUFFET

One vivid memory I have of our first days in the Hotel in Johannesburg is of Ange trying to keep up with the big girls. There were a number of families arriving near the same time as us and also staying in the same hotel. Unfortunately for Ange there were no kids her age, however there were a couple of girls in Ron’s age group. Of course they bonded immediately and that left Ange, abandoned by her big sister. In the weeks that we were preparing to leave San Fransisco, visit Alberta and move to South Africa, there were not a lot of Ron’s peers around to play with. In those circumstances, it seemed Ange was just fine for a playmate. Enter some new girls about Ron’s age and poor ol’ Ange was out the door and abandoned by her big sis’. They would take off running and Ange’s 3 year old legs could not keep up. However, she still had her mom’s undivided attention so she was not suffering. One Sunday morning we went down to eat the brunch buffet in the hotel. Ron’s friends joined us and together they decided to eat everything on the buffet table.

This was a big buffet filled with everything you could want in food. The big girls started to load up and Ange asked if she could also eat everything on the buffet. After getting permission she joined the bigger kids and with help from her mom piled on a big load (for a three year old girl that is). She had scrambled eggs, pancakes, sausage, syrup, toast, juice and cake. It was quite impressive. The bigger girls were making more of a show of eating as opposed to really “slopping at the trough”. They were more talk than action. Not ol’ Ange, she got stuck in and joined right into the hype about how much she ate, could eat, would eat and the damage she would inflict with her second round. I don’t think she noticed that the others were more hype than eat. Anyway we were all enjoying ourselves and the eating was boisterous. The excitement loud and the laughter more and more shrill as the sugar levels got higher. Then Ange turned white and looked at me…….

i“Daddy I don’t feel good”. No shit! She was white as a ghost and I knew that she was about to lose it. I started grabbing cloth napkins from everyone. This was instantaneous. There was no time to think. I made a big cloth basket out of napkins and shoved it under her face. And yup, Mt. Vesuvius erupted, spewing the most impressive load of buffet that you have ever seen. A good 50 Rand worth of mashed up breakfast was unloaded right into my waiting hands. The bigger girls shrieked, jumped up and ran out. Deysi was pretending to ignore me and my predicament, but had gathered up a few more “wine coloured” cloth napkins and put them beside me. Ol’ Ange even surprised me, when her third upheaval was not much less impressive than her first. She was now empty and color was returning to her face. At the same time she realizes what has happened and lets out a loud “mommmmmyyyyy…..waaaaaaaaa” and arms around each other her and her mom leave…..

There I am, sitting there by myself with this great steaming mass held in my hands. I carefully wrapped it into a big ball and added more purple napkins. I now have a thing resembling a big purple cloth basketball in my hands and I’m wondering “what the hell do I do next”? Just then a waiter passes by and bows a little and reaches out his hands for my debris. Well I don’t want to look like I’m stealing food wrapped into their napkins and I’m afraid to set it down in case it collapses and half of their buffet runs down the table, so I take this big ol’ basketball and deposit it in the waiters hands. He bows even deeper and says “thank you master”! I am sure he thought he had just won the breakfast lottery and had received a food package as a gift. I know he just couldn’t wait to get into the kitchen and unwrap it. My God that must have been some surprise when he first viewed that colourless, churning, steaming mass! I got up and split. Not looking back. I knew everyone in that place was watching me. The girls were nowhere in sight. They had all fled shrieking! I got as far as the cashier when my conscience got to me. I stopped and left a very good tip for the waiter (after pointing him out to the girl). And thus ended Ange’s introduction to big girl’s games.