JOHANNES, GARDENER, PHILOSOPHER, AND WIZARD

Now that the maid problem was solved, Deysi had time to turn her attention to the gardener. We had a Xhosa gardener living in the back of our property in a room when we arrived. He previously worked for the owner, but now that the owner was gone he had nobody to work for. His name was Johannes and he hailed from the bush country of South Africa, a long way from Johannesburg. He appeared to be about 40 years old, was not very tall nor very well built. Johannes, was a Xhosa and had been working in the city for a few years. He was rather a likeable guy albeit a little quiet and withdrawn.

However when he said something it was usually profound. I learned a lot from him. One day he was out cutting the lawn with a pair of scissors. Geezus, this was a one acre lot. Anyway he was quite content just cutting away. Time had no real meaning to him. If he had to be there then he might as well be doing something. This was during the period that he no longer had an employer and was probably just waiting for us to ask him to leave the room out back.

Deysi sees him cutting away on the grass, trimming the edges and otherwise showing signs of gardening skills. She goes to meet him and have a talk. This resulted in her making an agreement with him to look after our lawn three days a week and work for others the rest of the week. Apparently he also had other clients that did not need the services of a full-time gardener.

In exchange for this work, they agreed a salary, food, continued lodging in the gardener’s quarters out back and his freedom to offer his services to others on his days not working for us. Over time we became used to having Johannes around. In this post I am going to describe some of our encounters with this interesting character.

One of his first gardening interactions with Deysi, left her wondering at his gardening skills. He was out in the yard working and Deysi took him over to one of her gardens and explained to him that she wanted to move two plants to another side of the garden and transplant them. So she explains what she wants done and tells him to follow her and she will show him where she wants them transplanted.

Off she goes, gets to the place where she wants them planted, points at the spot, turns around and there is her gardener standing beside her holding the two plants that she wanted transplanted. He had just bent over and pulled them out by their roots and followed her over to the planting area. She was stunned, but it was a little late to explain the process she wanted, in more detail. What can you do?

Again shortly after Johannes started working for Deysi, she decided that she could no longer watch him cut the lawn with scissors and instructed me to go buy a lawnmower. That very weekend we go purchase an electric mower, in a box along about 200 feet of extension cord. Monday came fast and I told Deysi that when I came home for lunch I would unpack and assemble the lawnmower and show him how to run it. Lunchtime comes and I go home. There is Johannes out on the lawn with the lawnmower running and cutting the grass.

I asked Deysi if she had set it up, but she said she only told him it was there and that you would assemble it at lunch. Well I guess faced with a pair of scissors and a box that contained the answers to his prayers, he decided, how tough can it be to put together? Prior to that and never thereafter did Johannes ever show one spark of mechanical aptitude. He had that lawnmower plugged in behind the bar and about 100 feet of cord running in one side and out the other end of the pool. I said geezus Deysi that must hurt like hell. She says “leave him alone he seems to be happy”. Well it may have been a little painful but I guess it sure beat the hell out of the scissors!

Another time after he had been with us for a while, he told Deysi that he had not been feeling well and that he needed to go see the doctor. She gave him permission and time off and away he went. Next day he comes up to the back door to speak to the missus. This time he needed permission to bring his wife, from out in the bush veld, to stay with him for two days in his room.

Deysi was very leery of this type of request and wanted to know why his wife needed to come. His response was “I went to the doctor yesterday and he has decided that the reason I am sick is that my wife has put a spell on me. He now needs to bring her here so he can cast the spell from her and cure me of my sickness!” This was 100% true. He had gone to a local “witch doctor” for his sickness. A couple days later along comes his wife, gets the spell cast out (apparently). Johannes recovers and is back to work.

One of his next great revelations happened one day as I was out in the yard, working around the pool. He is watching me and finally sidles up next to me and whispers “master, master I need to talk to you.” “Yes Johannes what is it”. He moves even closer and in his best conspiratorial tone says “don’t trust the maid”. “Oh why not Johannes?” I am now expecting something really juicy. I am so excited.

Then in the most serious tone he could muster he says “because she’s a Christian“. Now this takes a few seconds to sink in, but when it does, I give him a pat on the shoulder and tell him, “Johannes that may just be the smartest thing you have ever said!” From time to time Johannes came up with some great insights. He also stayed with us until the day we left.