NOW FOR THE NEIGHBOURS AND INTERESTING THEY WERE

As we got settled in, we came to meet our neighbours. They were from different roots, but all were born and raised in South Africa. Among them a president of the Automobile Association in South Africa. His wife, became one of Deysi’s greatest friends and their daughter one of Ron’s playmates. Up the street a couple houses lived a retired (due to injury) Springbok Rugby player and his wife. They were also owners of a jewelry store in Sandton. And next to us, lived a young couple that were involved in providing industrial diamonds to the mining industry. These were friends that we shared many great times with and that we missed after we departed.

Each of them provided us with some amusing and some more serious times. They all contributed to our settling in and the understanding of the new life we had entered. I might say that social encounters were far more frequent than those you would experience at home. I am going to describe some memories of these individuals. Along with, experiences that we had with them, that stay in my mind to this day. Deysi was very popular with her neighbours. She came from an exotic country (Peru). Was extremely beautiful, and soon became leader of (by example) the local women’s rights movement.

One very early memory of an encounter with our neighbours was when they invited us to accompany them to the Royal Johannesburg Golf and Country Club for a golf outing. Desyi did not play much and I was, as always, hopeless. Anyway we pile everything into their car and off we go to the golf course. On arrival, our friend parks his car near the main doors to the clubhouse. We get out grab our stuff and head for the entrance. Not so fast then! The neighbour politely reminds his wife that she/they (females) are not allowed into the same entrance as the male golfers.

I didn’t say much (come on I didn’t make the rules), but I caught the draft from a cold breeze blowing in from my side. It was Deysi, who did not take well to this news about her entrance. Was she pissed? You think? She grabbed her gear and flounced off for the side of the building and the ladies entrance. I had a hard time holding back a snigger, but had more sense than to try it. I wouldn’t have slept safely after that, for a long time, if I had.

Another had to do with my neighbour, the industrial diamond merchant, who lived right next door. He was a young guy, maybe in his late 20’s and had bought a reasonably expensive house next door, gutted it and turned it into a one bedroom house. Anyway one night, about 2:00 am I was fast asleep when awakened by an urgent tapping on my bedroom window. I get up, look out and there stands my neighbour holding his pistola. He says to me, in all seriousness, I have heard a noise in your yard. If you go out through the back, I’ll go around this way and we’ll trap them in between us.

I think about this for a second and tell him “are you mad” (to borrow Deysi’s new expression). “I’m not going out there to capture anyone, let alone someone that might be breaking into my home”. Now go home and if I hear anything I’ll summon the security guards. Reluctantly he holsters his weapon and says, “ok then I’ll just go around this way in case someone is still there”. You know I laid awake and thought about this occurrence for a couple of hours afterward. It was like nothing I had ever experienced.

Another time we are invited up to the neighbours (the ex-rugby player’s) place, for drinks and a light lunch. It is a beautiful day, bright sunlight, and many of the neighbours gathered around. He had a big back yard, complete with a tennis court and pool. Anyway we are getting to meet some of our new neighbours and catch up on gossip with the ones we already know. One of the guys we meet, is a rather loud, cocky sounding guy, who is telling everyone within hearing range, that he is ranked 144 in the world in World Tennis Rankings. Wow that’s quite impressive. Anyway he goes on a bit up until the host has had his fill and calls out his 20 something son to join us. This was a big, tall blonde Afrikaans lad, just freshly released from his national military service. He was in great looking shape.

A few minutes later the tennis player pipes up again about his prowess, when the host then offers his son up as a sacrifice to the number 144 in the world. Game on. They square off and start playing. Well you could see that ol’ number 144 had played some tennis somewhere, but he was just no match for this young Adonis. He got his ass kicked well and truly, front, back, up, down and match. Well when it’s over he has to rejoin us at the table. It is pretty silent, and our host looks him in the eyes and says “Mite you are not even 144th in this neighbourhood”. One of my all-time favorite one liners.

One Saturday I’m out at the end of the pool deck messing around, when I hear our neighbours’ alarm go off. It makes a hideous sound, a mixture of claxton, lovesick wolf, wounded lion and a heart piercing screech. It gets your attention. I cannot imagine how you would carry on robbing some place if one of these went off when you were busy. In any event I move to the gate and am wondering if I should go to the neighbours to see if I could help. This is within one minute of the alarm going off. It is still making a horrific sound.

At the same time around the corner comes a 3/4 ton pickup truck with two guys standing in the back. This truck is coming fast and right at the property it goes into a four wheel slide and comes to rest with the bed of the truck up against the neighbours wall. The two guys, fully armed, bounce up and over the wall and into the neighbours yard. This at about the same time she comes out to tell them it was a false alarm, that she had triggered while in the back. They thank her and disappear.

Now this happened in the time that it took for her to trigger the alarm, turn it off and walk to the front door to tell them it was a false alarm. In about the same time it took me to realize what was happening and to walk out my driveway to see what was going on. Their ad said two minute response to all of their clients in Sandton. I now fully believed it. And thus my memories of the hood.