THE GREAT POPCORN EXPLOSION OF SANDTON, SA. 1989

Some of the simplest occurrences made for our greatest memories. This next recollection comes to me as I sit thinking of unusual or funny situations that we landed in and that were completely innocent of our involvement. On a Friday evening in late 1989 we joined our neighbors to take in a movie at the local theatre. At this time in SA, because of sanctions, new releases or really good movies were rare, so when there was something of note showing, we did our best to attend.

The girls were safely at home, entertaining the maid, so we were off to the movie theatre. In the Sandton City Mall, there was a fairly new and modern cinema. It was very civilized for its time. Before seating, you were allowed to order your glass of wine or beer, and enjoy it in a space reserved for that purpose. On this particular evening, the concessions were quite full, so after finishing our aperitifs, we went to our seats with a promise to come back for snacks later. We settled in to watch a show named “Oh Shucks, it’s Schuster”. This was a cross between hidden camera and Borat before there was even a thought of Borat. It was hilarious.

Prior to settling in, Deysi reminds me to go get her snacks. Popcorn it is. Dutifully and without whimper I go out and get into the popcorn queue. I am 5 or 6 from the front and patiently waiting my turn. Memorizing over and over again, our order, so that I don’t forget anything and get my ass sent back out for a second trip. The line is fairly slow as there is only one popcorn and drinks girl on duty. As usual I’m looking around and observing people.

At the front of the line, a guy has just ordered his popcorn. The girl opens the popcorn cage inserts her head, shoulders and the popcorn scoop inside of the cage, takes a deep breath, loads her lungs with a duffel bag full of air and lets go, the loudest sneeze I have ever heard. The popcorn inside the cage jumps! As if someone has stuck a hair dryer in there and turned it on and off. I am gob smacked. I don’t know what I have just seen and it takes a couple of seconds to register.

Then the lineup in front of me starts to peel off. I hear things like “Ahhh, I don’t really feel like popcorn tonight”. And “I think I’ll get something else”, “extra salt mite?” and other such mutterings as they move away. I also had lost my taste for popcorn, buy our drinks and return to my seat, popcorn empty handed. I explain to Deysi why she is not getting popcorn and we settle in to watch the show. Years later she thinks she remembers eating her popcorn. After I recount the popcorn explosion story to friends, she accuses me of buying her that very popcorn. Geezus can a man never win?

A side note, this show we watched was hilarious and has one of my favorite scenes of all time in it. If ever you have a chance, the 1989 movie “Oh Shucks…. It’s Schuster” is still available on YouTube. Schuster is a South African guy who dresses up in disguise and plays the roles of a white, Indian or coloured African in his skits. The skit that is my all-time favorite is one where, dressed as an Indian gas station attendant, he is filling cars and pulling stunts on them.

In drives a big old boat of a car (could have been a pickup) driven by a big ol’ middle aged Afrikaner farmer. Looks like a poster boy for an Anti-Apertheid add. This is one mean looking guy, big gut, bad attitude, with a beaten old sport jacket on and a faded (yet colorful) tie at least eight inches wide at the bottom. He pulls up jumps out and is standing next to his vehicle as Schuster starts to service it.

Schuster in a very convincing Indian accent asks permission to check the oil. He then pops the hood, pulls out this huge dipstick, dripping oil, reaches over grabs the farmers tie and wipes that dipstick from top to bottom on the tie. You can see that farmer swell up, his face goes purple and he lunges for Schuster. Schuster takes off running with the farmer in hot pursuit. He is taking off his disguise and yelling “It’s ME, It’s ME It’s SCHUSTER”. And away they go around the corner. I don’t know if I have ever laughed this hard in my life. Great memory.