1995-1996 THAILAND & READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD SINGLE HANDED

Although, often distracted, I am trying to work my way thru memories of my life, in a somewhat chronological order. In this Post, I am going to describe one of the jobs I took on, while starting a business, in the mid 1990’s. It was not funny, in any manner. It nearly shows what my life was like as a consultant. This may get long and boring, therefore read it only, in case of insomnia.

My intention was, to concentrate on high paying, executive level “contracts”, within a few minutes of our home. However, I soon found that none of these were ever offered to me. Possibly, tales of such assignments, were based on myth, and in reality no such opportunities ever existed. It meant, because of the scarcity of executive placements, I had to accept any offer that paid! I’m saying, any amount, anytime, anywhere and in some of the ugliest places possible.

Long before that point in my life, I already knew that anything, anybody wanted me to work on, was going to be in the crappiest possible location, no matter how exotic the name of the surrounding country was. I can guarantee, even in Hawaii, my clients could find an armpit of a place to construct something. All this, apparently, to make your life as miserable as possible. It seemed like the uglier and more messed up, the more likely it was that I would be sent there.

One of my earliest “contracts” was with a company that was hugely successful in North America, and about to enter into the international arena. I might say, that in spite of their success at home, they knew very little about the world of offshore business. They were like “fresh meat” waiting to be devoured, by the buzzards circling offshore. However, a couple of their top people understood where they might be lacking. So, this is where I found my first major business opportunity, and learned my first lessons as a contractor.

They were moving into South East Asia, and I was asked if I could help smooth the way and possibly flatten the “learning” curve. It was a perfect fit for my experience, and eagerly accepted. I met with some of their higher level managers, who would be leading, this foray into international waters. Immediately, I learned my first lesson as an independent contractor. It was soon obvious, that none of these managers wanted my input, needed my help, or even understood how unarmed they were when it came to this new venture. The second lesson came quickly. They also had no intention of listening to me or doing anything that I might suggest to help them along their way. No matter who had hired me.

Regardless, and ignoring all warning bells, I jumped in with both feet. Immediately there were roadblocks thrown in my path, and unrelenting resistance, bordering on hostility that met with my each and every offer of guidance. My frustration level went from 1 to 100, very quickly. Because I was in a client’s presence, most of the time, I had to bite my tongue, to keep from spewing out every cuss word and insult that I knew; and then stomping out in a tantrum! I very quickly reached the point where I wanted to hurt, the most obnoxious ones. But again, I couldn’t; they were my client’s people.

Away they went to Thailand, armed with a lot of operational know-how, and none, related to how they would set up in a new country. One of the first things they did, was to start gathering up pieces of production line equipment, that would be required to set up and operate their new plant. The key pieces were purchased, new, mostly in Europe, and were to be supplemented by pieces, scavenged from their various operating Plants in NA.

It is in my opinion, that Plants with old equipment in their “bone-yards”, now viewed the new setup as a good dumping ground. A good way to clean some junk, out of their yards now appeared. So, suffice it to say, they were busy rushing around gathering up all sorts of “past shelf-life” junk, and preparing to send it all to Thailand. This without, even, the basic knowledge of import rules and regulations. I expect they thought, to just bully their way through the process, as they would have done at home.

In the first few weeks I worked with my client’s management personnel, trying to put together some procedures. We came up with a list of do’s and don’ts. I also tried to paint a picture of what the business culture would look like. Along with suggestions of how to handle business negotiations in a foreign country. Included were guidelines related to import/export laws, and differences they would face. I also compliled some advice pieces, regarding what they could expect, when establishing a new company, in this foreign country. Some of which included;

• Thailand is a very old country and had not been colonized for more than 5000 years. The main reason is that the Thai’s are very frustrating to work with. They never say “no”; however if they think something should not be done in a particular, way or time or manner, then nothing on this earth would make them do it. You could apply any sort of pressure that you wanted and not one of the 50,000,000 of them would do it! Not even if you resorted too coercion, bribery, torture and especially not, threats. You had to be very skillful in manipulating your way thru business dealings or you would encounter a blockade that would never be broken. This alone, frustrated colonization for an extended period of time.
• The Thai people had a very different set of values to what we have in our culture. For example, “Loss of Face” both in business and personal life was their number one “trigger”. A situation causing Loss of Face, could very easily result in self harm, extreme depression and maybe even in suicide. Things that might cause this Loss of Face could be a public insult, could be someone yelling at you in a business meeting, demoting you from a higher position, or anything in public that might tend to demean your good character. Things that we consider important in our society were, way, way down their list..
• Tea Money paid to government officials, which we would call corruption and buying of favours, was a common practise in South East Asia. For that matter, in most parts of the world outside of Canada, USA and Europe. What it meant was the paying of money for “tea” to some government official in return for assistance negotiating your way through laws, duties, licenses, permits and regulations. It worked very well, once you understood the process and got over your personal inhibitions with “grease” on the wheel of government to help make it turn.
• And another “biggie” Do Not Ever raise your voice, jump up and down and wave your arms in a business situation. This was completely unacceptable and may cause a white chicken to be nailed to your living quarters door. This was not good, as it indicated that you had an evil spirit, and they were going to have to beat it out of you. Or worse, if the condition persisted.

Time passed, I tried to help where I could, but was having little success, up and to the day, where the “shit hit the fan”! It all started when they received their first container load of “junk” equipment from one of their plants. It arrived in the port of Bangkok, and was subject to customs inspection. I had tried to prepare the people on that end for what they might be faced with during the customs process. From the people on that end, I was told “to mind my own business”. They were in charge of all in-country processes.

A few days later I see a Telex, stating that the equipment container was held up in Customs. This because, a customs agent asking for a modest payment of cash, to help expedite clearance. The tone of the letter was, “don’t worry we will not let one of these people push us around!” Geezus! I got involved and sent them a return telex, explaining, again, that the payment of “Tea” money was a standard practise. Another week goes by, nothing. Them I enquire about the progress, and if they needed me to get involved, with our agent on that end.

The response was, “We have told you before, that we are In charge, and will solve our own problems. Our company will never Pay Graft, or under the table money to corrupt officials, EVER! Please stay out of our business!” I sent one more reply, this time warning that the “storage” and “demurrage” charges increased exponentially after a period of about 14 days. After thirty days they equalled about $1000/day! The “train wreck” that was developing, was obvious but was warned to keep out. All of you that know me, can understand the frustration I felt. I had a hard time “stifling” myself.

I advised the powers to be, on this end, of what I could see coming down the line. This was met with a sort of indifference and, a let’s wait and see, attitude. Another 30 days pass and I was working in the client’s office one day, when I hear some loud cussing, yelling, and high pitched shrieking approaching from down the hallway. Around the corner comes the head man, yelling, “where’s that !@#$ing Jimbo”? I pop my head out and am confronted by Duggie, who is completely purple of face and appearing as if he was about to have “the big one”. He yells at me, “what did I !@#$%^&&, hire you for?” I reply, “to help the people you sent, to a new country, try and be prepared for how they might do business there”. He is now shaking and screams, “!@##$^^&, well, what’s this then?”

He slaps a telex in my hand. it reads, that the container they had received with used equipment, was still in port after about 2 months. It had now accumulated, almost $60,000 in port fees and demurrage. I’m now starting to get a “little” defensive, so I pull out my file. It contained telexes, starting about 5o days previous, and continuing to the point, where I was told to “back off”. In these, I had explained, in graphic detail, what would happen if they left the container in port, without clearing customs. I also recommended, numerous times, that they pay the Tea Money. I had also suggested, where this situation might end up, if not handled immediately. In my file, were the replies from his people, rejecting my offers of assistance and telling me to basically !@#$ off. They made it clear, who was in charge.

If I thought he was purple before, he now became a new shade, that heretofore did not have a name in the color range. His rage was boundless. He let out a cry of pure animal rage, which I am sure was heard in Thailand, by his people. “Why didn’t you tell me”, he squeaks out? I reminded him, that I did, and added, “you were just quite content to let them see what they could do!” “Come with me!’, he roars and stomps off down the hall towards his office. I try explain to him, everything that has happened. He wants to know what can now be done to salvage this situation.

I explain that the original problem was his “honourable manager”, who refused to pay “Tea Money”, and where that had lead to. This, by no means, calmed him. Further, that by refusing to pay a couple of hundred $, to grease the wheel, they were now faced with $60,000 in port charges. Additionally, they were “still” going to have to pay the “tea money”. His shoulders slumped and he looked spent. My explanation of how it was going to work, only appeared to make him, closer to having a seizure. The best I could offer was, because the contents of the container were mostly junk, they could tell the Thai customs people that it was not theirs, and let them impound and keep it. My what a surprise they would have had on opening it, in anticipation of the treasures inside.

He made a leap across his desk, snatched at the phone and started punching at the buttons. I wanted to tell him, that I thought, the phone was probably not necessary, as they could undoubtably hear him, without it. I didn’t though. It was one of the few times in my life where I managed to stifle myself, just short of verbal disaster. He somehow, thru his blind rage, gets the site manager on the phone, and unleashes on him.

If I were to repeat his conversation and leave out the swear words, then there is not much left to write down. I even learned a couple of new ones that day. The abbreviated version was that after taking apart this guys ancestors, mental abilities and the sad event of his birth; he said, “I’m sending Jimbo out on there on the next plane and you better do everything, I mean everything, that he tells you to do. I will be speaking to him daily!” “DO YOU UNDERSTAND”? I am sure, an answer was not expected.

And with that, my few short months of being back in my home country and settled into family life, ended! As he said, my butt was on the next aircraft. Off and on for the better part of 18 months, I cleaned up little piles of crap, dropped by these guys, in their new adopted country. Some of them never did “get it”. I know it took a long time to set the scene for this memory and I can excuse anyone who does not have the patience to read my never ending verbal diarrhoea. But it typifies many of the contracts I accepted while running my own EPC Company.