WHAT PISSES ME OFF TODAY LET ME TELL YOU

This morning I will take a short break from my memories of Japan and launch myself into a screaming, frothing rage. Something happened yesterday that seriously made me angry. I was invited to, and joined, a “podcast” or live online discussion related to our retirement savings and investments. I would generally avoid these encounters like the Coronavirus. However because of my concern for recent events in the market I decided I would listen and see if I could learn anything new that might be positive. Alternately I was also braced for the negative. Now why am I pissed?

The talk started with a Senior rep of an investment firm who introduced himself, his subject and his guests for the day. In a few short sentences he managed to steal the thunder of his guests. He started by making it painfully clear, that not “he”, or “anyone” in contact with my investment, had any idea of what had just happened. OR why and where it was headed. OK I’m fine with this. Now thank us for our attendance and let us all go out and kill ourselves! Of course this was not going to be the case. And my rage is starting to bubble like a hot mud pool.

Enter his first guest speaker, who in about two sentences had turned my bubbling pool into a full fledged volcano. In a very short time he had strung together many words and phrases that did not exist a few years ago. All of which, had been invented by people to show other people how smart they are and how dumb you are. Understand, this presentation was supposed to be, for people like myself. Those, who had invested with this group, and were now interested in finding out what is happening and what the future holds. Not a group of investment brokers sitting around a room in a circle jerk trying to impress each other.

One thing I learned, in the Corporate world, was that people that cannot explain their topic in simple English. That which was taught to all of us in school. Generally know little of what they are saying and are trying to disguise this lack of depth. I also know that if you scratch the surface a bit, you will see how shallow the water is. I do not want to listen to a diatribe in a language that I do not and cannot possibly understand. Not that I am necessarily dumb, but that it is constantly evolving. As these “characters” invent new words and phrases to hide behind.

Now I could go on and on, but my point is. Words such as cash, available cash, earnings, losses, savings. Or disaster, recovery, end of the world and get out now, have meaning to me. Someone stringing together words such as; liquid assets, bottom up/top down (my only frame of reference for this is Deysi’s convertible top), retained earnings, market correction, market mindset, bear market/bull market, long term investment strategy with program applied execution and many many more, really really get up my nose. Examples of some of these buzzwords and phrases that hit a couple of my buttons are:

Liquid assets was a biggy in his speech. I am listening and wondering if he is now referring to my stockpile of beer that I hoarded before the isolation hit. Further I am wondering if he is suggesting that I sell this asset (I mean its bought and paid for, right)? Or when he speaks of executing a plan for my liquid assets does he mean drink it or continue hoarding it? Finally I realize, that I am left with no idea of what to do with these liquid assets. If he even means my beer stockpile in the first place. Another of his biggies was. The forceful application of a “bottom up” approach to the mitigation of the effects of a bear market!

What the hell! Does he mean we wait for the bottom of this slide to come. And, then, start dealing with some sort of plan to recover? Do we hunt this “Bear” with a stick or do we let it eat us? By this time, we are about 5 minutes into his 30 minute diatribe and I am now lost and wanting to pour hot molten lead into my ears. Again I could go on and on, but a lot of the stuff that followed I could not even begin to translate into English. I’m sure as hell that his bosses were impressed and squirming on every word. Well not I! Phew, I’m glad I spat that one out! What say you?