AN UPDATE ON LIFE IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT DAY 28

Here I am on day 28 of my penal servitude. I am still alive and Bubbaloo has not yet done away with me. One thing you might say about this solitude. It makes the days go by very slowly and thereby seems to be stretching out my life. My days of freedom, fully packed with fun, were going by so fast that I was always looking for ways to slow the passing of my remaining time. They were clicking off at an astonishing rate. Weeks went as days, months as weeks and years, sped by, as fast as months!

Well I think I have found the solution. Just stay home for a few weeks and it will feel like months. In this time I have developed a daily routine, and let me tell you, there now seems to be plenty of time in a day to accomplish all. In this ramble, I am going to give a brief description of how my days are now passing.

I am still waking early, but not as early as previously. Somehow I seem less excited to jump out of bed these days. I used to lie in bed and catch up on the news. Now I cannot stand to even open the news, let alone read more gloom and doom about our current situation. Nor am I interested in “who did what to who” all of course directed at gaining political mileage and none of it about life. It seems the world stopped, nothing is happening, apparently, in the world’s hotspots. Nary a word about Afghanistan, no new inventions, no good news, just a 100% focus on this cursed virus. I truly now dislike the Media in all it’s forms.

So I lumber out of bed, and get to school. It is a long walk, from bedroom to office, uphill both ways I might add. I sign in and after a little bit of Kumbaya stuff we dig into our course. I am 2/3 of the way thru a course that is supposedly 12 hours long (maybe if you had a doctorate in Geek). At this point I have spent 18-1/2 hours on it. I understand I’m slow and feeble, but there is no way anyone is finishing this course in 12 hours. My target is to complete before my next birthday. OK its now 8:00am and two hours of my day is gone.

Now partially clean up, change to farm clothes and push my fat butt out the door to launch into battle with the Amazon jungle. Each day I go out and try to see what I might have accomplished on the previous day. My arms ache, my back is broken, my knees grind, and my spirit is defeated. To this point I have managed to accumulate two humungous piles of branches, limbs, trees, a couple of car bodies and other assorted remnants of the jungle.

Up to now, I have still not found any lost tribes living in the jungle. But I still have some unexplored places, remaining to work on. Sometimes I slink quietly back into the house to find someplace to hide. However, I am invariably met by Bubbaloo, who with hands planted firmly on her hips, says “Get Back Out There“. I’ll tell you when its time to come in”! Finally that hated chore is done for the day. It’s now 11:00am. Oh what fun I’ve already had! Now what’s next!

I then clean up and prepare brunch for my boss who is now fully awake, cleaned up and ready for action. I’m not being completely truthful, because now, seeing the weakened state I am in, she has taken over much of the food prep. The one thing I truly loved was cooking. Now that too is taken away from me (just kidding don’t go crazy on me Bubba). I am then granted a short rest where I can sit and view a tv program of my choice. God the time is flying, it is almost noon yet it seems like 8:00 at night. After my break, then its down to my office where I spend about an hour on systems maintenance on my website (I used to call this fixing shit, but I am now so much more sophisticated)

Finally I’m free of chores and can now spend the next hour pouring my soul into this blog. It gives me peace, it provides me with someone to talk to (myself) and lets me slide back into a fantasy land of my own creation. In this world I am truly a legend in my own mind. This time goes a little faster and I’ve now reached 2:00pm.

Now for the highlight of the day, it’s time to walk the dog (me)! Now I do like walking, but it has its limits such as, carrying my golf clubs while I walk, having my gun with me for a little hunt, heading out for MacDonalds, humping my stuff from the truck down to my boat and going fishing or my biggest of all, going to join the old boys for a beer. Those are my ideas of walking. Not so with my trainer, she sets her clock, her pacer, step counter, heart rate monitor and takes off like she’s racing the tortoise.

I try to match her pace, but fall asleep immediately. Well after a couple rounds of the venue she has chosen for the day, I now get to eat a snack, MacDonalds you ask? Well no, we celebrate our cardio experience by gulping down an orange, or for some variety, and orange and an apple. I could easily go on, but I think you get the picture. It is now four in the afternoon and I still have 6 more, fun filled hours to go, before I am allowed to go to bed. Lord help me! Where’s my rope I’m going outside to see if anything has grown sufficiently for me to use it to end my Solitary. I am spent.