ANGE AND RON CLEAR OUT THE POOL AT THE SHERATON, WAIKIKI

Ange and Ron always seem to provide us with memorable times during our holidays. They were always excited and looking for adventure. This story happened one day during one of their interminable swimming sessions. We were all lounging around one of the two pools available to us at the Sheraton Waikiki. Life was good, we are living in the penthouse, private elevator and people gawking at us as we came and went from our own private lobby. Nobody came and asked for autographs so I guess no one figured out, just who the hell we were and why we had our own entrance. I am sure they thought we were either famous or ‘loaded”. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. Anyway, back to the story.

I am comfortably ensconced in a deck chair with my book and a “mint julep”, half listening to the girls banter and to Deysi’s plan for sightseeing that day. The weather was nice, sunny and hot. Deysi was surrounded by her stuff, magazines, sun screen, shades, bonbons, towels, and other sorts of goodies for her and the girls. She is turning a store bought shade of tan, while I am going thru the range of colors from “red neck” white, to pink, sunburned red, and back to white. I never did hit the “tan” color.

The girls are playing their favorite pool game, the one where Ron jumps up on Ange’s back and sinks her under the water. She likes to hold her under until the last bubble leaves her tiny body. She then drags her up and after a gulp of air Ange lets out one of her high pitch, wake the dead, ear piercing screams, just in time to go under once again. Throughout this game Ron is laughing hilariously and enjoying herself immensely. I am so used to this game that I barely hear it any longer. Deysi is scolding Ron constantly and telling her to “leave your little sister alone”, “you hear me!” and threatening her with all sorts of punishments. So with this background noise roaming around my head, I am doing my best to ignore them. Aaaaah peace at last.

Just when I am about to doze, I hear a different sort of sound from ol’ Ange, it is part gasp, part retch, a couple of “Hueys” ending with a “waaaahhh, MOMMY”. Apparently, Ron has held her under just past her last bubble and she has taken on a huge lung full of pool water. I look up just in time to see Ange lose another half day of buffet, into the pool. I can not believe it, does this girl do nothing other than throw up? So now there is a major “vomit slick” floating on the surface of the pool, it’s expanding like the universe and the other patrons in the pool are now moving away from it. The theme from JAWS goes thru my mind, accompanying this ominous looking breakfast display floating around the pool.

Now people are leaving the pool area and gathering their things to go elsewhere. Deysi takes one look, gathers up her rubble and flounces off. Looking back over her shoulder she says to me “you take care of this mess, I’m going up to the room”. She disappears. Ange is now crying loudly, her sister thinks it is so funny, I’m even redder now than usual. My instinct is to follow their mom and pretend I don’t know them. Geezus can’t a man get a break around here. We pass thru the doors to the lobby and I tell the attendant, “looks like there has been an accident in the pool, you might want to go see”. He grabs a face cloth sized towel and goes to see.

Me I’m outta here, followed by one screaming kid and the “Joker” who can’t get enough of this. This is as true as I’m sitting here. It seems like Ange’s response to all situations is to unload everything she has recently eaten; anywhere at anytime. LORD HELP US ALL!