HARVEST TIME AT THE FINCA – WE FINALLY START THE REAPING – AUGUST 2024

What follows here, is a small collection of gardening memories, which although trivial, finally lead us to the first harvests. As I have said before, a great deal of what we sowed, came from seedlings, planted and nurtured in Ron’s basement. Come spring time we had all sorts of seedlings to plant. As we watched them grow and take shape, I started to notice the artistic side of our daughter appearing through her gardening. First up were red and white radishes, followed by burgundy, orange and white carrots. Then appeared the purple and yellow cauliflowers. I was quite surprised. Then Bubbaloo planted white and red potatoes in the same hill. Next came three or four different colours of tomatoes. Then white pumpkins, followed by orange sunflowers. Basically my “conservative” ideas of how veggies should look, were turned upside down. “Cute”, I thought.

One of my favorite memories, is a continuation of Bubbaloo’s epic RolyPoly bug war. Remember, the little buggars that attacked Ron’s cucumber plants, before Bubbaloo counter-attacked with the beer traps? Anyway, after agonizing over the imagined cucumber crop losses, the remaining cucumbers then started to proliferate. At first we had one. We were all in disbelief. My God what a treasure. Ron picked it and said it was delicious. Soon, other tiny “cukes” appeared. Bubba guarded them religiously. Everyday, I had to look in, the now tangled foliage, for signs of new growth. And then………

Cucumbers started to grow. I’m talking 5, then 10, or even 15 at a time. We were eating just to keep up. It started with a couple of cucumber salads, progressed to cucumber sandwiches, then to 15 jars of dill pickles, and onto Gazpacho. We are now eating 2 cucumber sandwiches every morning and canning, weekly, batches of 5 bottles of dills, just in order to keep up with the, now out of control, cucumber bed. You might say this all sounds like bullshit. After all how many cucumbers can grow in one 3′ by 12′ garden bed. Well let me answer that for you. ONE HUNDRED! One day, Ron declares that she is now done eating cucumbers for this year. This revelation came when Bubbaloo told her she was picking a couple for her. To which Ron replied, “Hell no!” “You eat them!”

After Ron “tapped out”, then our daily consumption increased, just to stay even with the new growth. I started to be more discriminate when selecting new candidates for picking. I began to ignore, those under 8″ long and left them to “mature” a bit more. Not able to leave “well enough alone”, then Ron, during her daily inspection of her gardens, started to pick them for me. I guess she thought that I had missed them on my daily search. Anyway, I was quite happy with no cucumber production for a couple of days, when Ron appears with 4 more that she had picked, just to help out. “My God”, I thought, “I just can’t wait for another cucumber sandwich!” In desperation we then went into relish production. We tried to replicate my mom’s hotdog relish and dad’s hamburger relish. Another 20 cucumbers went into 15 jars.

The one thought, I’ll leave you with, is that “cucumbers fresh from the garden, taste nothing like those they try to sell you in the store!” Over time, Ol’ JimboRed had developed a very negative opinion of “store bought” produce. That started with cucumbers. I reached a point where I could just not eat them. To me they seemed mostly tasteless. Any flavour I did get, was one of an “iron” taste in my mouth after I ate them. Bubbaloo still bought them. However, I found myself trying to avoid them. Many a fine tuna salad sandwich was wrecked by adding “store bought” cucumbers to them. I got to a point where I could almost smell them as Bubbaloo tried to hide them in our food. The ones we grew this year, have revived my memories of what cucumbers should taste like.

Cucumbers grow in unbelievable quantities. Almost, but not quite as insanely as zucchini. However they are a close second. I remember Ron’s first garden so vividly. In her innocence, while trying to experiment with growing veggies, she germinated twenty or so, zucchini plants in her basement. Once transplanted into her garden, she babysat them like newborns. I remember the sheer joy of seeing her first baby start to grow. We ooohhhed and aaawwwed over this miracle of life. We were so proud of her. 4 weeks later she has a tangled mass of zucchini foliage covering everything. And then……….

Zucchinis started to pop out all over. I’m talking big ass Zucchini’s! There were so many, they started to become a staple at dinner time. You cannot even image the number of ways a Peruvian can find to make soup out of a zucchini. For a while there were so many that Ron had JimboRed start to sneak around the Walmart Parking Lot looking for unlocked cars. Each time I encountered one I was to open it and throw in a couple of zucchinis. Or to keep “uninvited visitors” at bay, she would give them a half dozen zucchinis if they ever chanced to visit.

Our next greatest gardening adventure, came with the 15 tomato seedlings that Ron incubated in her basement. I arranged them in one bed evenly spread out and kind of symmetrical. They started out as scrawny little stems, reaching for sunlight. Bubbaloo fussed around each one of them, like newborn babies. She fought off the RolyPoly’s from invading the tomato bed and gave, her “adopted” babies, special attention during the daily watering. Then they grew a couple of inches. We were so proud, then a couple inches more. Ol’ Jimbored then had to build a trellis to keep the, now, foot long stems supported. Everything was fine. Each day we admired our, soon to be, tomato crop. And then…………

They grew 7 feet tall, became a mass of Amazonia jungle, and then tomatoes started to appear. First one little group, hanging like grapes. Then 10 or 20, and now a couple of hundred tomatoes of all sizes have appeared. If any more come out, we will not be able to eat them fast enough. I have added another layer or two on our trellis, and now cannot reach the top branches. I believe Bubbaloo now calls them Indeterminant Tomatoes, which I believe means out of control. Now we are snipping, clipping and pulling all branches that are not fruit bearing, to see if we can get them to stop growing. Ol’ Bubba is studying how to stop this wild tangled growth and change them back into, what she calls “Determinant” tomatoes. My opinion is that she is fighting a losing battle.

It is now early August we are deep into the harvest. In June and July, we ate thru the strawberries and lettuce crop. Then started on radishes. From there we ate broccolini and carrots. Then came potatoes. There is no taste in the world like new potatoes or carrots. I could eat them every day. And then, cucumber after cucumber. Ron and Jered, ate alongside of us. At least for the first couple of weeks for each vegetable. At some point we seemed to notice a lull in their enthusiasm for garden veggies. Their harvesting seemed to slow. “My god”, I thought, “I hope they don’t leave us to eat the rest”. I’m not sure that this old body can take that many vitamins. However, I might have been wrong. Because, now, they are back to eating a cucumber salad each day, to help us fend off the overflow.

If there were any failures in our gardening adventure they were relatively minor. For instance, we planted onions, in an “outside the enclosed garden” separate bed. We did this based on incomplete information. We found out that onions, green onions, leeks, etc., have a smell and taste that the rabbits, deer and other vegans, did not like. Well I come to find out that this info might apply to full grown plants, not seedlings. It seems that the baby shoots are still very attractive to wild foraging animals. As the first sprouts appeared, something, and I suspect deer came thru each evening and give them a “haircut”. We could not get shoots that grew more than 4 inches. At that point something chomped them off and these new plants, then, had to start again. 7 days later another chewing. Finally in exasperation we covered the onion bed with a mesh.

The green onions and leeks seemed to recover somewhat nicely. However the big yellow and red onions were doomed. They never quite recovered to any significance. We left them to regrow, watered frequently and tried to coax some life out of them. To no avail. When it was obvious that they were not going to grow any larger, we reaped them. There were lots of them, all about the same size. That being, a little bigger than golf balls. They were tasty. We used them in our relish dishes and reserved some for the upcoming, Peruvian salsa making. Our dreams of big ol’ onions were dashed. however, our spirits were still strong. All the time I am writing this I keep thinking of amusing occurrences. I can tell you, there is nothing funny about pulling weeds, clipping suckers, or cleaning beds. You are probably thinking, “JimboRed, get a life”!

On top of that, I learned that gardening has many opportunities for broadening one’s taste experiences. Although I have still not graduated to the level of watering, I did gain knowledge of a thing or two. Things like veggie to meat imitations. Another, was Ron’s sprouting of a thing called Cucamelon. I had never heard of such a plant. I daresay that I have probably eaten a good sampling, of much, of what is grown in this world. And because I had not heard of them, I only planted them reluctantly. I might say I grumbled and bitched about them as I was putting them into the ground. Not out loud, mind you. But nonetheless, I gave those two head gardeners quite a thorough “tongue lashing”, for making me waste my time planting something I was sure was not edible.

The Cucamelon crop was planted, out of the way, along the fence line. Also, I put them in a couple of other places where I thought this plant, if it ever grew, would not be interfering with food production. Then one day, during her inspection Ron spotted something. It was a tiny, watermelon shaped fruit about 1.5 inches in length. It had the colouring of a watermelon; dark green with some light, almost white “stripes” on its sides. I could not believe it! Never had I ever see or heard of such a vegetable. Let alone eat one! “Cute” was a word that came to mind. It was still a long way from watermelon size, so I put it from my mind. After a couple of days, Ron declares that the “cucamelon” was ready to eat.

Crap, I thought, this must be some super-plant! A few days ago it was still, only, about an inch long. Well, she plucked a couple and handed them to us. “What the hell”, I snorted, “by the time I peel this there won’t be anything left”. “Just pop it in your mouth”, Ron says. Well I did. I might say it had the crunch of a very crisp pickle, it had the look of a mini watermelon and it had the taste of a very tart cucumber! Interesting. I could see Bubbaloo chewing away, with a kind of quizzical look in her eyes. She was about to make a proclamation. “Hmmmmmm”, she says, and that was all I ever got from her. I think Ron said something like, “I don’t think I’ll ever be addicted to them”! Somehow I don’t see cucamelon’s making the cut for next year’s planting.

At the same time we are reaping, we are also planting crops for harvest later in the fall. We have now added beets (again), fall lettuce, and Swiss chard. We hope to be harvesting these crops in October, before the first frost. The pumpkin garden finally produced a pair of big, white “ornamental” pumpkins. I was just as surprised as you! When Ron gave me the seedlings, I assumed that they were big ol’ “orange” Halloween/Pumpkin Pie type pumpkins. Who, you might ask, would plant “ornamental pumpkins”? I also learned something about pumpkins. I had planted them in a nice piece of garden, off to the side. Two months later the vines had grown 25 feet long. They grew over, under, around and thru any obstacle in their path. Hell they grew up the 6 foot fence and produced a pumpkin 4 feet off the ground.

I might say, by the time of harvest, this previously clean and well weeded garden, now looked exactly like the Amazon Jungle in Peru. So while Bubbaloo focused her gardening efforts, on pruning, cutting, clipping and pointing out my failings, I went on to other harvests. Outside of the garden enclosures, the Finca has many other food bearing trees. By now it was late August and the fruits and berries from these trees needed to be gathered. We knew a long hard winter was coming, so wanted our den full of goodies to enjoy over the hibernation period. During our explorations of the property we had identified many trees and shrubs that produced fruit each year. Ol’ Jimbored set out to gather this bounty. I was at peace with myself, alone in the forest, with no one to pick on me.

JMW and Ron pointed out trees that were full of Saskatoons and shrubs loaded with Oregon Grapes. After the Sour Plums, the Saskatoons were my first target. I remember my younger days, when Mom and Dad would take us berry picking in the fall. Saskatoons were our favourites. Mom could make all sorts of jams, jellies and syrups from these berries. We picked buckets full. They are quite easy to pick and kinda of come off in clumps. Before long I had all of the low hanging fruit picked. Then I decided that the biggest fattest ones were up high. What to do? First I just needed my ladder. I’m headed to the garage to get it, when Bubbaloo spots me and asks, “whatcha doing”? That, my friends, was the end of that plan. She gave me “the look”, over top of her glasses and said, “just try it buddy!”.

It’s not like I could enlist JMW to help. Since he fell off the roof at Christmas, he too has been prohibited from clambering up ladders. All I could do was stare wistfully at those plump berries, hanging there, begging me to come and reap them. For a couple of weeks, I could not pass the Saskatoon tree and not look wistfully up into the branches. Next year, I will get them. I just won’t tell Bubbaloo, my plans. Who knows, maybe I will get JMW back up on that ladder with me. I mean don’t they say, “if you fall off your ladder get back up and ride it again”? Who knows, maybe once he tries the Saskatoon Jam, he may just clamber on up there, without being asked. .

My next big harvest was the Oregon Grape crop. They grow on a low shrub, mostly about 8 inches off the ground. They are powder blue, but if you touch them, the powder wears off and they become a deep wine purple. Oregon Grapes, as they are called, grow wild all over the NorthWest USA and the coastal areas of South West Canada. I never realized you could eat them, until a day last year, when walking thru the forest we spotted someone picking them. Bubbaloo asked what they did with them, and was told that they make the “best jelly ever”. They are easy to pick. I could find a nice shrub full and then lay down on my side and pick away. These berries grow in clumps just like grapes in a vineyard. You grab a clump, and gently strip off a cupful of berries.

If you want some other useless info, then, I can tell you that these people we met may have been absolutely correct. The Oregon Grape Jelly, Bubbaloo made, is exquisite. She also made a cordial with which to flavour our water. It is supposed to be full of all sorts of health benefits. You can use every part, including stem, leaf and root. I think we read somewhere that, “the taste just explodes in your mouth”. I’m not so sure about that, but I could find no other way to describe the Oregon Grape, so eloquently. Over time we are starting to perfect the process of “canning” or “preserving” of our harvest. As always, Bubbaloo is the unquestioned expert and leader of this phase. JimboRed gets to wash and sterilize jars, cleanup and do the heavy lifting. Some things never change.

Another thing that didn’t go exactly to plan came about while we were making the Oregon Grape Jelly and Cordial. Because we had never dealt with these berries before, we went straight to the Google Eye (phone) for some advice. We followed the recipe, we found, exactly, including the addition of a half teaspoon full of butter, to the boiling berries. This was said to be used to stop the “foaming” of the juice, rendered from the boiling of the berries. Well perhaps it did. What they didn’t say was what was going to happen once the mixture cooled down and the butter coagulated. After cooling, what we had were hundreds of tiny white flecks of butter specks floating on our otherwise perfect juice and jelly. Geezus, hadn’t these idiots ever made their own recipe? Bubbaloo sieved it, poured it thru cheesecloth, and skimmed it. All to no avail. Floaters still remained!

From Oregon Grapes we went on to pick wild apples. Ron and JMW have a large tree on the property. We also found a few trees growing on the roadside nearby. The apples range from a pale pink to, yellow and green. They are medium sweet but maintain a very “tart” flavour. They are ideal for pies. Bubbaloo made pie fillings for freezing. We just need to take them out, add them to a pie shell, and voila instant pie. She made “wild apple crumble” to “die for”. Some of her other famous apple recipes consist of apple and rhubarb pie, apple smoothy, and apple sauce. I just can’t wait for winter to come and the eating to start! This year JMW and Ron helped with the roadside foraging. Ron came up with a wild apple cake that might become a legend. Who said our little girl was non-culinary?

For those of you still awake, I must close off now. If you think we are done gardening this year, you would be wrong. The Elderberry tree is now heavy with berries. They are in their final stage of ripening. Soon they need to be picked and rendered into Jam, Jelly, Juice and whatever other ideas that Bubbaloo can come up with. This year I will also try to make jelly from the “orange” Rowan Berries. This not to mention the new fall crops we have planted and the remaining produce still in the ground awaiting the “grim reaper”. In the meantime, we continue preparing “preserves” for the winter. At last count we had over 70 jars canned thus far. And we still have 500 or more tomatoes that need to find a home for the winter.