WINTER 1980 THE GREAT TOBOGGANING EPISODE

As I reflect on the early times in Canada, after our arrival from Peru, I am reminded of a great adventure story. It took place in my hometown, at mom and dad’s. On a clear, cool winter day I decided that it was time to introduce Deysi to Canadian, outside, winter sport (if that is not some kind of oxymoron). Tobogganing was the sport of my choice. It was not Bubbaloo’s, I might say. But, because she had no idea what it was, she grudgingly agreed to participate. Mom was quiet, but glaring daggers at me, both for fear of ol Bubba getting injured, and pissed that I was taking her gaming partner away.

Well mom proceeded to dress her in every layer of winter clothing that they possessed. She kinda reminded me of the Goodyear blimp once she was ready. She had so much on, that, her arms kinda stuck out to the sides. It was comical to say the least. But, there was no way I was saying anything or she would not have gone with me. Well we left, me jumping around telling her what fun she was gonna have. And her waddling behind me trying to carry about 20 pounds of extra layers. We arrived at the tobogganing hill and unloaded our gear. I rolled Bubbaloo out of the car and stood her upright and made for the lineup to await our turn.

Back in the day, this toboggan slide was a formidable run. The last time I had seen it, I was still a kid. Now it didn’t seem like much. To Bubbaloo, though it appeared as Mt. Everest. She said, “I’m not going up there, you hear me!” I said come on it’s great fun. Up we went. Me full of enthusiasm to introduce her to a new Canadian custom. Her full of anxiety and apprehension, just knowing the kind of crap she had been through with me in our short history. Up we trudged, finally arriving at the top. Once there my next task was to convince her that she should now sit down on a piece of wood, hold on to a fool, and swoosh down a terrifying slope. Not the easiest sell I might say.

Well I finally got her on the toboggan tucked in behind me, sticking out on all sides because of the clothing and barely able to breathe because of all she was carrying. “Let’s go” I yelled and over the edge we went. “Yahoo” I exclaimed and I hear this long loud scream come out from behind me. Well down we went and I might say we achieved a respectable speed. Ol Bubbaloo was not holding up that well. She was terrified, poor thing, screaming and begging for me too stop it. Well it had been many years since I had been tobogganing so I had forgotten many of the finer points of guiding a board at breakneck speed down a mountain. Anyway I heard her terror and dug my feet into the ground to try and slow us.

Yup you guessed it. A ton of snow was kicked up, pelted over my shoulder and struck her right in the face with the force of an avalanche. Her face was now covered in snow, she couldn’t breath let alone scream. She just held on waiting for certain death to happen. After what seemed like hours, to her, we arrived at the bottom.

At the bottom, we came to a stop and with the last little ounce of momentum the toboggan overturned and spilled us out onto the ground. Now I thought this was hilarious and proceeded to pick her up (she couldn’t get up by herself, only roll to one side because of the clothes). I started to brush her off, when finally her airwaves cleared and she screamed at me “ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!” I think at this time she was close to leaving the cold Alberta winter behind and making a break for freedom. Was she pissed? You Think? The look she laid on me was priceless, it was a mix of anger, rage, anger, loathing, anger and disbelief.

Yup she then quit speaking to me and headed for the car. All the way home I was trying to convince her that she had just had fun. Are you kidding, she never once looked my way. I tried for forgiveness, admitting I was all of those things that she was thinking. To no avail. Well this was not yet quite over. Now I had to face my Mom’s wrath and it was formidable. She scolded me to put it gently. Dad was like me and could see the humour in all of this. Until Mom gave him “the look”. Then he added, “son that was not one of the smartest things you ever did”. After a couple of years and some counselling Bubba got over the trauma, but I don’t think she ever forgave me! The Truth As I See It.