THE BRIG O DOON CHASED BY A WITCH – IMAGES OF SCOTLAND PART II

One fine day, we loaded up and travelled south and west of Glasgow. D2 accompanied us on this tour. We stopped and had a brief look at Royal Troon, Turnberry and Prestwick golf courses. Since no one else had the slightest interest in my golf dreams, we moved on, quickly, without even, a photo. Our destination was the birthplace of two, very famous, Scots. Robbie Burns and Robert the Bruce. Both were born in Alloway, on the Irish Sea. Robert the Bruce went on to be King of the Scots. Robbie Burns went on to be King of the Drunks and a poetry “rock star”. I liked them both. Both their personalities, fed into my vision of myself. As in the Burns poem of Tam O Shanter, I envisioned myself, chased by a witch, across the Brig O Doon, (Bridge Over The Doon River) barely escaping, with my butt.

We stopped at the Brig O Doon, so I could recant my memory of Robbie’s poem Tam O Shanter. Seems Tam was a bit of a partier and enjoyed his time at the pub, with his buddies. Meanwhile his wife was home, “sullenly” waiting for him (Deysi, I did not make this stuff up). On one particular evening, he was riding his horse home, in a bit of a drunken state. As he passed the ruins, of a local church, he saw firelight, shining thru the holes in the walls. Upon further investigation he spied a covy of witches and wizards, dancing, cavorting and cackling amongst the ruins. All of their evil tools were on display.

He spotted one witch with a very short skirt. Curious, he stopped for a closer look. At this point, Tam O Shanter was spotted. With a loud cry, these evil spirits took after him. He kicked his horse to top speed, and headed for the Auld Brig O Doon, and the safety of his own home. Everyone knew, that the witches could not cross running water, so he had to make it to the Brig O Doon, before he was caught. The most evil witch, the one with the short skirt, grabbed his horse’s tail just as he got onto the bridge. He flew across it, however the poor horse lost his tail. All that remained was a stump. The moral of this story is, “to beware of the dangers of consuming alcohol!” I must say, I have had similar experiences in my time.

These are the ruins of Turnberry Castle, burnt in 1310 by order of Robert the Bruce, so it wouldn’t fall into English hands. It is also the site of a very famous golf course, not that anyone cares. But the real interesting story was that Robert De Brus (sounds like a frenchman) was held prisoner here, until he agreed to wed the lady of the house. From that joyous union, came Robert the Bruce (now sounding much more Scottish), the future king of all Scots. He enters into a lot of my stories of Scotland. Much of the history I studied started in the 1200’s. Much of the architecture was created in that same period. And many of the successes, the Scots had against the British, also happened during this time. Oh, what a wondrous time he lived in, up to the time he contacted leprosy, that is.

As I wrote about earlier, in my story of Loch Ness, Deysi and I, without Ange this time, spent a few days driving from home, west and north towards Loch Lomond and Loch Ness. I went into quite a bit of detail in an earlier post, however I cannot stop myself from adding a couple more pictures of Loch Lomond, Loch Ness and the Scottish highlands. That particular trip took us west to Glasgow, North to Loch Lomond, NE towards Loch Ness, then on to Inverness. I use the word Loch often, while writing about Scotland. It means lake and comes from the old Gaelic language, I believe.

Another Sunday, saw us taking a tour boat out into the Firth of Forth, just outside of Edinburg. We went to visit a famous site on an island right in the middle of the inlet (firth) from the sea. It was a famous Abbey or church, located on an island called Inchcolm. It has been in existence since the late 1100’s, when a Scottish King, built it, after, he was shipwrecked there. He took refuge in a hermits shack on the island. I guess what I found most interesting, was that it is the only Abbey that remains complete and intact from that period. The English attacked it from time to time over the years, but never really damaged it much. It has served many functions, of both churches, for centuries. Additionally it has been used as a defensive fortress, because of it’s position, smack in the middle of the Firth.

This next picture, had me baffled a bit. It was so familiar, but I could not put my finger on the exact location. I thought it was out by North Berwick, east of Edinburgh, and near the mouth of the Firth of Forth. I also thought it was very close to Bass Rock, a huge White Island just offshore from this area. Where she is actually standing, is on the top of Inchcolm Abbey, looking out across the chapel spire. The modern looking buildings, across the small causeway are used for maintenance, staff lodging and administration purposes. On the top of the hill, across, are some more, one storey, rock ruins. If you look closely, you can see people walking up a trail towards the ruins. In the background is the Firth of Forth, looking out to sea. Inchcolm was mentioned in Shakespeare’s Macbeth.

Gradually, I have loosened some of the cobwebs from this mind, and am starting to remember more of our time in Scotland. It is quickly becoming apparent, that one needed to go no further than Edinburgh and its surroundings, to satisfy all needs, for exploring sites, ruins, history and lore. One day, on the south west side of Edinburgh, and not far from our home, we visited the Rosslyn Chapel. This place was Deysi’s favorite site in Scotland. Built in the mid 1400’s by the Sinclair clan, this church was used as a catholic place of worship. A few hundred years later it became an Episcopal place of worship. To this time, I believe, the Sinclair family still owns it privately.

Legend has it, that after the Black Douglas took Robert the Bruce’s heart on crusade, in fulfilment of Robert’s dying wish. Heart in hand, the Black Douglas went to Spain, and found some Moors. Thereupon, he picked a fight, during which they killed him. Robert’s heart was thrown out on the battlefield. However, some of the survivors found it and carried it back to Scotland. It was then, apparently, interred at Rosslyn Chapel. It is also rumoured to be the hiding place of an enormous treasure of books, well hidden in the Chapel. The legend says that these books may include the Holy Grail. Also, if you remember the movie, the Da Vinci Code, this was the Chapel featured, and around which the story was told.

One of the great diversions we had while in Scotland, was a visit from our niece Michy and nephew Jonny. He was definitely Scottish, while Michy was English, but wanting to be Scottish. We took them some place new, every spare minute we had. On this particular occasion, we were east of Edinburg, along the coast of the Firth of Forth, and came upon a lighthouse on Fidra Island. So what? You might ask. Well if my memory serves me, the great Scottish writer Robert Louis Stevenson, used this island as a model for the map of Treasure Island, for his famous book. Also, if my memory serves, this island had a chapel, where some went for religious retreats or soul searching. Others, were possibly sent, for penance.

A few miles southwest of Edinburgh, in what is called, the Scottish Borders area, lies the market town of Peebles. It is not a large place, with maybe 6-7000 people when we lived in Scotland. Over the years, as the textile industry moved on, and became more modern, Peebles started to become a bedroom community for people commuting to work in Edinburgh. I remember it because it had a decent golf course, which I was invited to play a couple of times. This picture was taken during, another of our, never ending, weekend tours. We stopped in to see Neidpath castle. It was another, castle built in the mid 1200’s. It remains a functioning castle, to this day. You can still get a tour, a tea and a crumpet, served in this very ancient castle. Another of the never ending list of castles that changed hands many times.

Another very iconic site, at the entrance to the Firth of Forth, was bass Rock. It stands offshore, about 2 kilometers from the coast of Scotland. Located near the town of North Berwick and close to my favorite castle, Tantalon. It was also just offshore, from the Golf course, that I was a member of, during my time in Scotland. The course was named, White Kirk. Bass Rock was a spectacular sight. It seemed to be covered in white rock. However, it’s white color came from the guano (bird crap) deposited by the millions of Gannets, that inhabited this island. Even at a distance the squawking, howling and shrieking of these residents was LOUD. In the old days, when the lighthouse required a human operator, it must have been torture to live on that rock and endure the endless cacophony.

This is the site of the Inverness Castle. We visited here just before going to the battlefield at Culloden (see my earlier post about Loch Ness, Nessie and Culloden). There has been a castle here since at least 1050AD. For many years it was held by the English and used to keep the Scots in line, or at least, at bay. Legend has it, that during the Middle Ages, the English invited a bunch of the Scottish Lords for a meeting. Whereupon, they arrested them, killed a few and imprisoned a bunch of them. One Lord they kept for 12 months, inside a cell in the castle, along with his mother. Boy, was he pissed. Upon release he rounded up 10,000 of his closest friends and burnt the town to the ground. He could not rout the English out for a fight, so eventually faded back into the highlands.

I have spent a great deal of time writing of our exploration around Loch Ness, Inverness and Culloden battlefield. We only spent a few short days in this area, but crammed in as much as we could see. When we were done, we started our journey back to Edinburg by way of St. Andrews. Shortly after leaving the Culloden area, while still driving along the Firth of Moray, we encountered another amazing site. We couldn’t resist, so stopped in to view Fort George. This was an artillery installation, on the edge of the Firth, guarding access to the Scottish Highlands from the sea. It was built by King George II, in about 1748. So at Ardrosier, in the Scottish Highlands, we diverted our journey a few miles, in order to see this site.

I am sure some are wondering, why every place we visited had some sort of battle or war attached to it. My answer is simple. It seems like, before the invention of soccer, the English and the Scots Highlanders, loved nothing better than a good punch-up. And for this reason, King George II had this fort built immediately after he defeated the Jacobites and Bonny Prince Charlie at Culloden. His army had chased the highlanders, their “parts” swinging in the wind, up into the highlands, along with their prince. He wanted them to stay there. Hence Fort George was built. Amazingly, it still functions as a fort today. It may contain the largest amount of artillery, in any fort in Europe. It has never been attacked. Nor has it been abandoned. For who knows when the wild, skirt wearing, screaming Scots might reemurge.

From time to time, I had occasion to travel around the UK on business. Whenever I could, I tried to take DEYSI with me. On one particular trip to Aberdeen, on the northeast end of Scotland, she was able to accompany me. As was usual, we looked around Aberdeen and the surrounding area. We found some amazing things. One of these, was the site of a Recumbent Stone Circle. The one we found, was a relatively new discovery, and one of the only stone circles, ever found, that didn’t need any of the stones to be reset, or put upright. This type of circle had one stone laying on it’s side, with two upright stones flanking it. The rest of the stones were then placed in a circle, starting from the recumbent stone. It was not Stonehenge but it was still spectacular in it’s own right.

It was a very exciting discovery, and was named Easter Aquhothies Stone Circle. Typically, the archeologists determined that these circles were the product of ancient people of 3500 years before. Most of the circles measured about 30 meters in diameter. To this day, no one knows why they were built, however, there is some relation to the alignment of the stones and a part, of the path, of a lunar cycle. They could have had religious functions, agricultural, sacrificial, or maybe, that’s what the early Scots did for fun. You know, lift big stones and put them in a circle. Might have been their Saturday afternoon sport, prior to the mead drinking starting. There have been instances of stone circles being erected in the early 1900’s as a joke. Not this one though.

While, not quite The London Eye, Edinburg’s Ferris wheel was impressive in it’s own right. It sat near downtown, in Princess Park, right beside the Monument to Sir Walter Scott, the famous Scottish writer. I am not sure which was a bigger attraction. The big wheel, in Edinburg, was about 1/4 of the size of The London Eye. It measured about 100 feet in diameter, compared to about 400 feet for the one in London. The Scott monument is reputed to be the second tallest monument to a writer in the world. Sir Walter Scott was famous for the novels Ivanhoe, Rob Roy, The Lady of The Lake and others. He was born in Edinburgh, on one of the narrow dark side streets near downtown. I will let you decide what you like about the photo, whether the Wheel or the Monument.

After reading Part I of the images of Scotland, one of my readers was left unfulfilled with my small piece of the history, about the vessel, Discovery, and it’s explorers Scott and Shackleton. So I promised a little bit more. After arriving in Antarctica, the Discovery was frozen in ice, (for 3 years) in a sheltered harbour. From there, and with lots of time on their hands, Scott and Shackleton started to explore and map the region. One of their goals was to reach the South Pole before anyone else. Alas, they failed, but did make some significant discoveries. They found the undiscovered King Edward VII land, also, a dry valley with the longest river in the Antarctic and the emperor penguin. The Discovery was frozen into the ice in McMurdo Sound for two years after their scheduled return date. Eventually in the 3rd year it was freed and returned to Britain.

That could have been the end, however both Scott and Shackleton were somewhat stubborn and persistent. In 1911 they both partook of another Antarctic adventure. This time on separate ships, using separate routes. Scott’s dream of being the first to reach the South Pole, was crushed, when a Norwegian Amundsen reached it a month before him. On the return to his vessel, Scott and his companions perished of frostbite, exposure, malnutrition and exhaustion. They were only 11 miles from their supply station when they died! Shackleton’s crew was trapped on an ice flow and drifted around for months. They eventually launched smaller boats into the open ocean. After two months they reached land. Eventually, Shackleton once again launched into the sea, with a small crew. He finally found a whaling station and after two years he returned to rescue all of his men. No one perished! Geezus.

I just could not leave Scotland without one final article about Desyi’s (and her friends’) favorite place to visit. It was just outside of Edinburgh in an old castle (or at the very least a big-ass house). This place was called Lennoxlove. It was open for viewing and displayed some of the finest antiques and works of art in the area. BUT, what made it really special was the restaurant, open at lunch time and catering, mostly to women. The restaurant was run by two, very famous, “slightly plump” women. Because I don’t want to be cancelled, I cannot say their real names. What attracted the local ladies, was their specialty, “Penis Stew”. I am not lying. The recipe called for a couple of freshly cut penises, some onions, mushrooms, coriander, garlic and thyme. I guess the penis was pounded with a mallet to soften it up a bit, cut into slices and cooked in broth. The ladies said it was delicious, although I don’t know if any of them actually ate it. I think they were there, more, for the pounding and cutting part.

With that scary thought it in mind, I leave you to a peaceful sleep, knowing that each, and every, one of my female readers, are furiously looking up this recipe on the internet. And wondering just where they could find a penis. Anyway, sleep tight, I know they will never think, what you, are now thinking. Thus ends our trip in images thru Scotland. From here we moved on to Houston, and dived right into new adventures. One last thought. Even though, it looks like I have shown a ton of places, we have not even come close to all of the wondrous sites we visited. Not to mention, the 1000’s that we never had time to explore.