THE SURPRISE BIRTHDAY THAT WENT HORRIBLY WRONG

Editor’s note: I must apologize for breaking away from our times in Texas, to bring you a story that flickered by my screen, and that I just could not resist writing about. This is just one example of the many times our girls had me convulsed in laughter. There was never a dull minute around them!

This next Post is from the middle of the 1990’s and is likely to get me in some real trouble. Thing is though, I can’t just turn off my memories and blank them out of my mind. In the same manner as my big mouth; my pen just gushes out what comes steaming down the track. This one was a beauty and for sure it is hard to determine which of us was more surprised. It could have been the Birthday Person, Deysi, Ange, me or the gathered invitees for this monumental event.

The occasion was “an almost adult year” birthday of our oldest girl Ron. It just so happened, like anywhere else we had ever been to in our travels, Ron had made tons of friends in the relatively short time that we had lived in Calgary. At school or around her circle of BFF’s she was a social diva, full of humour, pranks and actions that kept her buddies giggling, constantly. At home she was not quite so “nurturing” with her mom and dad. I don’t think she “got” our natural sense of humour.

So Deysi gets this wild idea of having all of her friends over to our home for a “surprise” party. My god, how a dozen or more teenage, “going on 30” year old, girls could keep this event a secret was truly beyond my comprehension. I expect has never happened since, anywhere! To pull this off Deysi recruits Ron’s best friend “Crusty” (of telephone switcharoo fame) to organize and coordinate this group of young adults. Once again, if you will, just think of what Crusty accomplished, and be in awe. So a few days prior to her birthday date, and one day after her Mom’s birthday, the surprise was sprung.

Again, her buddy, Crusty was key in making this happen. She set it up, so that she convinced Ron that they would come home from doing something, somewhere, to get ready to go out for the evening. (Deysi will help me out here, my memory of the exact details blurs a bit). In any event enter all of her friends, on time, with their transport well hidden. Others had been dropped off at the door. This, all well-before the Birthday Person was to arrive.

Soon they had coats, shoes and purses stowed away and were all hidden around the bottom floor of our home. Right on cue, Crusty and Ron arrive. There is not a peep in this house. She breezes in, asks mom why the lights are out, to which Deysi and Ange respond by hitting the switches. Her friends jump out and scream “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”. Ron is stunned. It takes her a few heartbeats to realize what has just been sprung on her. And then she loses it big time! She has a major fit, glares daggers at her mom and I, and exits “stage right” for the stairs and down to her bedroom.

“SSSLLLAAAMMM” goes the basement door and then silence ensues. It was very hard to see who was the most surprised by her reaction, but it’s safe to say that at least 15 mouths were left gaping. We had just learned a big life lesson about our girl. After travelling with her all of her life and spending 99.9% of our time with her for all those years, we finally learned that Ron HATED THEN, AND DOES TO THIS DAY, ANY FORM OF SURPRISE!

As I said the audience was stunned, gaping and silent. When Ron slammed her door, you knew this was not a space you wanted to cross into, if you valued your life. A few minutes of strained silence ensues and Crusty decides to go down and see if she can coax the guest of honour back upstairs. Eventually she returns, with Ron in hand. Mom and I know that she is still “pissed”, but like a politician she handles the crowds well. For the rest of the evening she had fun and her guests truly enjoyed the party.

Deysi and I, with Ange in tow, headed for our room where we cowered in anticipation of the abuse we were going to receive once she was free of her guests. I can honestly say, that never again did we ever try to spring any surprise on our girl. Now, I expect her to say “Dad this sounds like bullshit”, but let me assure you in advance, it’s as true as my feeble old brain allows it to be, at this time of my life. (Now if you choose to disbelieve me, just ask ol’ JMW if he ever sprang a surprise on Ron).

As a footnote, I might add that her little sis Ange, never had then, or now, any opposition to a good old fashioned surprise. And as for parties, anytime, any style, any occasion was good for her. “Bring it on’ is her attitude, especially if it happens to be at Disneyland.